Zucotto Balls...silence...hysterical laughter
I had an orgasm the other day.. and the name I yelled out in my moment of passion was..."IKEA!"
That's how pathetic my life has become. So the apartment is now furnished... I can confidently announce this simple statement to the world now. We only had to spend three days at IKEA, forage through boxes and boxes of cardboard rubbish, remove splinters from my derriere (I have no idea how I got a splinter there..I'm being serious.. Stop smiling.. I mean it..Okay now I am smiling.... Now I am laughing hysterically again..Oh shucks.. I hate you), destroy a bookcase by "hitting it too hard" (I have developed unnatural building powers apparently), and setting a new record for building a dining room chair (in 10 minutes flat I can have it up and running..All backwards of course).
Besides me never wanting to leave my apartment because it is sooooo beautiful... my weekend was eventful to say the least. Alifiya (Abizer's sister) came up from NYC to see our new place and get a dose of insomnia. So we went to Maggiano's on Saturday. The usual gang was in attendance plus a few new faces... After a dinner which resulted in a scandalous photo of the waiter and I.. packed dessert to go.. and new definitions to the word groping and PDA.. we decided to go to an interesting establishment near the Commons called "The Liquor Store."
If you are a lady who wants to throw all of her self respect out the window this is your haven. Literally. All you have to do is climb on top of the bucking bull and ride it so that you eventually exhaust your grinding abilities against leather.. and then do a forward bow ending in a half somersault off onto the inflatable land beneath. But make sure to do it in slow motion.. teasing the audience with a semi obstructed view of your breasts. That will surely get you all 10's on the board from the Testosterone swayed judges. Don't be confused by my sarcasm.. I genuinely liked the place and shall surely go back again. I think the trinkets they were offering in the bathroom is what roped me in for life. Cough.
I am late for my next class.
So I guess this is bye for now...
But...just one last thing
Do take care...
my fellow peers, aimless wanders, silent observers, deranged manical pet lovers, and green thumb wanna-be planter lovers....
I somehow described myself in that blurb. Amusingly Freudian. Bye.
That's how pathetic my life has become. So the apartment is now furnished... I can confidently announce this simple statement to the world now. We only had to spend three days at IKEA, forage through boxes and boxes of cardboard rubbish, remove splinters from my derriere (I have no idea how I got a splinter there..I'm being serious.. Stop smiling.. I mean it..Okay now I am smiling.... Now I am laughing hysterically again..Oh shucks.. I hate you), destroy a bookcase by "hitting it too hard" (I have developed unnatural building powers apparently), and setting a new record for building a dining room chair (in 10 minutes flat I can have it up and running..All backwards of course).
Besides me never wanting to leave my apartment because it is sooooo beautiful... my weekend was eventful to say the least. Alifiya (Abizer's sister) came up from NYC to see our new place and get a dose of insomnia. So we went to Maggiano's on Saturday. The usual gang was in attendance plus a few new faces... After a dinner which resulted in a scandalous photo of the waiter and I.. packed dessert to go.. and new definitions to the word groping and PDA.. we decided to go to an interesting establishment near the Commons called "The Liquor Store."
If you are a lady who wants to throw all of her self respect out the window this is your haven. Literally. All you have to do is climb on top of the bucking bull and ride it so that you eventually exhaust your grinding abilities against leather.. and then do a forward bow ending in a half somersault off onto the inflatable land beneath. But make sure to do it in slow motion.. teasing the audience with a semi obstructed view of your breasts. That will surely get you all 10's on the board from the Testosterone swayed judges. Don't be confused by my sarcasm.. I genuinely liked the place and shall surely go back again. I think the trinkets they were offering in the bathroom is what roped me in for life. Cough.
I am late for my next class.
So I guess this is bye for now...
But...just one last thing
Do take care...
my fellow peers, aimless wanders, silent observers, deranged manical pet lovers, and green thumb wanna-be planter lovers....
I somehow described myself in that blurb. Amusingly Freudian. Bye.
posted by Khush51 at 9:37 AM
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