Just throw a Glass at them...

Day 3: Mumbai/Bombay

I have pulled a muscle in my neck. It must have been how I was sleeping since I was fine yesterday. Ugh, it hurts. Not to mention I look like an idiot when I have to look left since I have to turn my whole body.

Romeo and Juliet, Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett - all great lovers...
Layla and Majnun, Heer Ranjha, Mumtaz and Shah Jahan - Why is that in Indian love stories, the girl's name comes first? It's odd no?

As it turns out in the last 50 years, India's automobile population has grown 170 times while the road infrastructure has expanded only 9 times. The main roads are narrow and in poor conditions. They are used for sleeping, walking and somewhere down the lane serve as "Temporary Shops". Vendors often encroach upon streets and block sidewalks, restricting traffic. The pedestrian's right of way at road crossings is something of a dream, making "Jay Walking" a common phenomenon.

In my opinion...one has to be a jackrabbit to find their way through the maze of the traffic. Yet, officials boost about the Indian driving skills stating that "Considering, the conditions in which we drive, our drivers are not killing that many people". Heavy traffic, a norm in India, includes overloaded trucks and buses, scooters, pedestrians, bullocks and camel carts, horse or elephant riders and free-roaming live-stocks.

Rules Of Indian Roads

Here in India, everybody make their own rules and not misses them. There are no traffic rules of the kind those are found here: Signals: used for littering and Speed limits: No body cares for them.

1. Rule of Mortality
   "If you are afraid of Death, Better stay at Home."
   
2. Rule to Give Way
   "Give way to animals, beggars, double parked heavy trucks, buses and cars. Don't hit them, just flow around them. Amongst the motorists, he who is the loudest has the right-to-way. On road, traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle."
   
3. Indian Driver Mantra
   ""To slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat". In observance of this rule three things are required of every licensed driver:"Good Horn", "Good Brakes" and "Good Luck". Most drivers don't drive; they just aim their vehicle in the intended direction."
   
4. Rule of Horn
   "He who is the loudest wins. Use of a horn is mandatory, if you wish to pass anything, honk horn. If you don't have a horn, shout."
   
5. Rule for Accidents
   "Never stop for an accident, "That's karma," or in the case of a big collision, "That's truckma". Truck drivers of India are licensed to kill."
   
6. Rules of Speed
   "Speed limit is palpably ignored. Signs are ineffectual and traffic will move at the fastest speed possible."
   
7. Rules of Roundabouts
   "India recognizes no roundabouts."
   
8. Rules for Overtaking
   "Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you or whether you are in a rush or not. Indian drivers overtake amazingly, especially where there absolutely no sensible opportunity exists."

 Also, I find it very odd how the cars here in India have bumper stickers that say "Horn Please" 

Newton's Law of Gravity...

Day 2: Mumbai/Bombay

Hmm, what a day today has been. I was stranded in an elevator. Apparently the weight limit on the elevator had been exceeded with four people in the elevator. Of course the obvious occurred. The elevator started going up and then it slowed down and it then puttered itself to death. We got stuck between two floors and we had to break the door down... Literally. It was amusing... We tried to hit the switch to open the folding gate door so we could maybe climb out but it was to no avail. Finally, the "elevator repairman" arrived and hit this spot next to door with a wooden stick and magic! Only in a creaky elevator in India, where the outside humidity and temperature is 300F, do I manage to get stuck in an elevator for 25 minutes.

I did manage to get some grading in though...(no not in the elevator!) but I soon found that it's impossible to attempt this tedious task of checking Unit 1 assessments when all you want to do is jump in a pool and frolic about.

But guess what I did after grading....
I said guess!!!!
Yes, I'm still waiting for you to form a thought about what I did. Hmph!

Ok you win, I'll tell you...I found a gym and jumped into the pool! But for some miserable reason, properly hygienic reasons, I assume, the lifeguard on duty made me wear a swimming cap. I tried to evade him at first by just running and jumping into the pool... But the lifeguard called me over and kindly asked me to stop trapezing in the pool area.  It was a pink elastic-like thingy. I have never worn such a contraption on my head and it looked like I was wearing a pink condom. Blah. Buzz kill.

In addition to that, I decided to try my hand at bargaining while getting some vegetables...Sad to say I got overcharged for my chicu's. It's a fruit that I freaking love! But that's the Indian name for it sorry, in the US it is called Sapodilla and its native to southern Mexico, Central Ameica, and the West Indies. Yet, it is grown in huge quantities in India, and Mexico. Moving past the history lesson, I went to the man selling the fruit and asked for 5 chicu's. He picked up 5 after fondling each one for a bit and then said 20 rupees Madam. There was another farangi women standing next to me, who was bargaining herself and seemed to know the local method of things and so I asked her... if he was giving me a good price. She then turned to the Man and said give her 6 for 20..I was happy that I had gotten such a steal for such a great price... well that was until I got home and the maid told me that she gets 10 for 20 rupees... Hmph! I wont be attempting my bargaining skills again anytime soon.